Ask Us: How to Deal With Barn Jealousy
In our new column, Ask Us, we’re tracking down expert insights into your toughest, horse-related questions. In today’s edition, equitation rider Coco Fath of Beacon Hill Show Stables shares her thoughts on coping with jealousy in and out of the show ring.
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Q: I am doing really well this season. I was able to win a number of classes during WEF and my spring has gone really well so far, but now, my friends in the barn seem to be a bit jealous of my success. I’m trying not to feel hurt by it, but I thought they would be happy for me. I would like to confront them but I feel they will just dismiss my feelings and say I’m being silly. I want to just focus on my riding and my results and try to ignore the jealousy, but dynamics at the barn between me and my friends have changed. What do I do?
-Kristin O.
A: Coco Fath
Kristin, jealousy is more about someone else’s insecurities than about your own actions. There will always be those jumping bigger fences with more resources and results.
I have dealt personally with jealousy on both sides of the equation, due to the fact that at the end of the day, there is only one winner in a competition. I know friends keeping their distance can be a struggle, as it’s never fun to be left out, so my advice would be to make sure that you watch them compete and enjoy their successes—whether in the show ring or not.
Beyond that, there is nothing else you can do except to continue your own success. Most of all, remember to never let these types of things get to your head. You should never feel badly when reaching a goal and being rewarded for it, even if your friends are not.
Kristin, jealousy is more about someone else’s insecurities than about your own actions. There will always be those jumping bigger fences with more resources and results.
I have dealt personally with jealousy on both sides of the equation, due to the fact that at the end of the day, there is only one winner in a competition. I know friends keeping their distance can be a struggle, as it’s never fun to be left out, so my advice would be to make sure that you watch them compete and enjoy their successes—whether in the show ring or not.
Beyond that, there is nothing else you can do except to continue your own success. Most of all, remember to never let these types of things get to your head. You should never feel badly when reaching a goal and being rewarded for it, even if your friends are not.
-As told to NF Style.