A couple of weeks ago, I was leading my gelding into his stall from the field. It was a normal day and he was totally happy and perky, but something stopped me in my tracks.
Clip, clop, clip, cloppp, clip, cloppp.
There it was. I didn’t even have to look, I could hear it just by his footfalls on the concrete.
HE WAS SLIGHTLY OFF.
Sound. The. Alarm. I stopped, put him in the crossties, and for the next 5 minutes found myself in an emotional freefall. Now that I know he’s totally fine, I can laughingly present to you: The 12 Thoughts Every Rider Has When Their Horse Comes in Lame.
- Oh… something’s not right. Hm. That’s weird.
- Which leg is it? Front right. No. Wait. Front left? *Calls barn friend over* Do you see that? That, there. DID YOU SEE THAT WEIRD STEP?
- I think I’m imagining it. He always does this, I swear it’s just for attention.
- What did (turnout mate’s name here) do to you?! What happened to you, my angel? Are you in pain?
- Okay, okay. Calm down. This is probably an abscess! It’s definitely like, a stone bruise. Don’t get carried away.
- Is there fill in that leg? Does his leg always look like that? Why do I obsessively take pictures of his boop-y nose but not his legs. There’s definitely fill in it.
- Yes there’s fill in it. Omg he’s torn a suspensory. Or he’s blown his flexor tendon. How many months do those take to heal? WHAT IF HIS LEG IS BROKEN?
- Okay I guess he’d be a little bit more lame if it was a broken leg. He did only take one funky step...
- Is it hot? No, it’s not hot. My hand is just hot. Because I’m hyperventilating.
- Is the vet here yet? Oh wait, I haven’t called them. So no, they’re probably not here yet. When will Google come up with telepathic veterinary paging? Honestly, it’s 2022, people.
- Oh, Susan’s vet is here! I wonder if she can take a peek so that I can go ahead and brace myself for the absolute worst case scenario haha it’s so fun in my brain!!!!
- *Cannot get horse to replicate lame step for the vet. Horse is deemed fine. Horse laughs in triumph as I am now too frazzled to even think about riding.*
Just another day in horse paradise!